Made of clay

No family is perfect. I grew up hearing how some families would break apart, brothers not speaking to brothers, families no longer celebrating holidays together, and cousins not growing up together. The older I get, the more I realize how we are each made of clay, and how easily we can be broken. 

We are none of us as tough as we think or may seem. It's easy to hurt someone else's feelings, or to feel offended. It just takes one mean sentence that can cut to the heart because it's family, and we know them well enough to know how.

I often think of my children and how they will be as they grow older. I try to teach them each good reasoning and sound judgement, love, fairness, and forgiveness. But each must chose their path, how they will conceive of being sister or brother to the other as adults, each with their own passion in life and perhaps their own family to raise. 

I've not just heard but witnessed love growing cold as I age. We are all challenged to keep each candle lit, and only we know how to do it. Because love, family, and friendships are  life's greatest gifts. And we have to carry each vessel with care.

Every day is Mother's Day!



How can something so small, so beautiful, be mine? My two-year-old is so full of life; to the brim as they come. With three older siblings, she's figured out what she wants, and how to get (ahem, demand) it. I don't know if anyone else on earth is as happy as she, because she is perfectly content with life just as it is.

I think God gives us children to open our eyes and catch a glimpse of the intangible beauty of life. The secrets of pure beauty, beauty as He creates it, that can only be felt or seen if we stop.  

Be still.

Be present.

To each passing moment.

We get to watch, to witness, as they absorb and process, discover and learn to express.

Each one of my kids has taught and continues to teach me something new. At this moment, I'm relishing in learning what unbridled joy looks like.

Happy Mother's Day.

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It's the most wonderful time of year

I know most of you are thinking, "what? Christmas is so far away!" And that season evokes different feelings; feelings of warmth, love, peace, nostalgia, anticipation. I love Easter Sunday, too. After 40 days that have a tinge of clouds cast over them, Easter is all light, color, freshness and sweets. 

But Holy Week has its own power. Growing up around D.C., there is a strong tradition of attending Holy Week Masses and services. Even in Miami, people understood and appreciated it profoundly. It wasn't until I moved to the west coast of Florida that I realized not everyone had a deep love and appreciation for it. It's wasn't anything negative I sensed. It was more of an ambivalence, which got my thoughts turned toward why I love it so much. 

Holy Week has a sort of hush about it, as if God is inviting us to peek into the mystery of His Love. We step outside of time, we live again the betrayal of friends save his mother and 2 others. We witness the love of a brave woman named Veronica who pushes through the crowd to wipe his stinging face. We feel his absence from our churches when He is removed from all tabernacles on Holy Thursday until he rises to be with us on Easter. The church does a magnificent job in helping us to feel along with our Lord. Because only when we enter in can we understand what our shortcomings and laziness at looking at our lives actually means. 

Holy Week reminds us that our work is not done, both on the outside in our world, but most importantly, on the inside. If we enter in, we can't fake it. We know what's important in life. And if by chance this year we have gotten off course, we will see it and make some changes. 

What a gift indeed. 

Communicate, please!

Doesn't it sometimes take you by surprise when you discover you and your spouse aren't communicating well? It's like you fall in love, have some babies, and bam! You're not on the same page. It can be about anything under the sun, from discovering the routines aren't working for anyone to not knowing what is the best way to relax individually and collectively on weekends. ( if you are asking yourself, what? Relax? Is that something I should be doing? Than you really need to read this post . 😜)

I am going to divert for a moment and sing my praises for God's plan for families. The particular angle I am excited about today is the fact that He uses everyday experiences and struggles to reveal something deep and true about our nature. He's a gentle teacher, like Socrates, anticipating the moment  that we, His students,  discover something marvelous for ourselves! He doesn't just tell us answers, He leads us along a certain path to discover them for ourselves because, well, it's more of a sudden brilliancy of light for us that way. God has always touched my heart through my mind, because He knows me best, like He knows you best. So hang in there and stay in it with Him so He can help you discover whatever it is you're looking for at the moment.

So back to the original topic. We find ourselves at a junction when we are at odds with either ourselves, our lives, our spouse, or all three! Many layers can go into this disjointedness, from background to habits to selfishness. Most of it has never been brought to the light of acknowledgement and we carry on making assumptions and feeding the bitter storm inside until we can't even communicate effectively because what comes out are bullets meant to anihillate!

I think as women we have so many mixed messages of what we should be and it is mostly coming from a source that doesn't know who we are in the first place. Our gifts of understanding people, building relationships, and service doesn't equate with being walked on by husbands and children. Our strength and ability doesn't mean stomping on every man we see in our path and grinding them to dust.

I can't answer for anyone how to communicate effectively. I do know it involves mutual respect and openness to hear and be heard. It involves believing in yourself and your needs,wants, and dreams as well as listening to your spouse's and working together on making all of those realities, in time. It also involves patience and taking one day at a time, trusting that even when it seems like the sun just won't shine that it will and you will see something you hadn't seen before about life, yourself, your spouse and God Himself.

what's holding you back?

Sometimes in life, we are in a holding pattern. We don't know what we want, we feel our limitations all too powerfully, and stay still. Sometimes our health forces us to stay still, quite literally. Sometimes things like finances and priorities take precedence and we need time to take care of these properly before we make a move. But make a move we must, because we can sense that there is just something else out there calling us.

Everything in our lives brings us to a certain place. Our experiences, talents, and even sufferings have a role in shaping who we become. Who says we stop learning when we finish school? Maybe then is when we are allowed the freedom to really learn who we are. We have the time and space to figure out and then Live our dreams! 

Life is mean to be lived. We are made for dreams. We are made for a beautiful life. And it is up to us to define for ourselves what that means and then live it. 

So wherever you find yourself on your journey today, whether you have a dream and are living it or are in a stage of vague hopes, know that you are worth all of God's love and he doesn't want anything to hold you back.

Flo Grown

Everyone likes to knock Florida. 😉I never saw myself living here, either! But my husbands career needed building and we followed the path, leading us here 6 years ago. My eyes have since been opened to the advantages of being "Flo grown."

My kids love nature. I think all kids do! But when we moved to Florida, I was constantly in awe because of the contrast to my own childhood environment. There is a thickness to the grass here, exotic colors to flowers and birds, and the toughest  plants you've ever seen. I never knew leaves could be so thick! Hundreds of birds I had only read about became a part of our daily environment. I have grown to love the intense heat offered by the sun that is so close you can feel his warmth seeping through your skin. He's like a friend. Now I, too, love nature.

I've seen one of my children tame an iguana for 5 minutes, another calm a wild bird flying around the house so as to catch him, pass him around, and let him go. The bird himself hesitated to leave. They've saved a wild baby rabbit and have grown up with the ocean and gulf as their backdrop. I can't wait until we can grow some fruit trees and let them literally pick the fruits of their own labor.

Our youngest 2 were born here, and prefer the outdoors to the in. If I could, I would be outside with them all day. It has been so beautiful to see them nurture and love their natural world in the way God must have intended.