Thursday, March 30, 2017
Doesn't it sometimes take you by surprise when you discover you and your spouse aren't communicating well? It's like you fall in love, have some babies, and bam! You're not on the same page. It can be about anything under the sun, from discovering the routines aren't working for anyone to not knowing what is the best way to relax individually and collectively on weekends. ( if you are asking yourself, what? Relax? Is that something I should be doing? Than you really need to read this post . 😜)
I am going to divert for a moment and sing my praises for God's plan for families. The particular angle I am excited about today is the fact that He uses everyday experiences and struggles to reveal something deep and true about our nature. He's a gentle teacher, like Socrates, anticipating the moment that we, His students, discover something marvelous for ourselves! He doesn't just tell us answers, He leads us along a certain path to discover them for ourselves because, well, it's more of a sudden brilliancy of light for us that way. God has always touched my heart through my mind, because He knows me best, like He knows you best. So hang in there and stay in it with Him so He can help you discover whatever it is you're looking for at the moment.
So back to the original topic. We find ourselves at a junction when we are at odds with either ourselves, our lives, our spouse, or all three! Many layers can go into this disjointedness, from background to habits to selfishness. Most of it has never been brought to the light of acknowledgement and we carry on making assumptions and feeding the bitter storm inside until we can't even communicate effectively because what comes out are bullets meant to anihillate!
I think as women we have so many mixed messages of what we should be and it is mostly coming from a source that doesn't know who we are in the first place. Our gifts of understanding people, building relationships, and service doesn't equate with being walked on by husbands and children. Our strength and ability doesn't mean stomping on every man we see in our path and grinding them to dust.
I can't answer for anyone how to communicate effectively. I do know it involves mutual respect and openness to hear and be heard. It involves believing in yourself and your needs,wants, and dreams as well as listening to your spouse's and working together on making all of those realities, in time. It also involves patience and taking one day at a time, trusting that even when it seems like the sun just won't shine that it will and you will see something you hadn't seen before about life, yourself, your spouse and God Himself.