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Thursday, March 30, 2017

Communicate, please!




Doesn't it sometimes take you by surprise when you discover you and your spouse aren't communicating well? It's like you fall in love, have some babies, and bam! You're not on the same page. It can be about anything under the sun, from discovering the routines aren't working for anyone to not knowing what is the best way to relax individually and collectively on weekends. ( if you are asking yourself, what? Relax? Is that something I should be doing? Than you really need to read this post . 😜)

I am going to divert for a moment and sing my praises for God's plan for families. The particular angle I am excited about today is the fact that He uses everyday experiences and struggles to reveal something deep and true about our nature. He's a gentle teacher, like Socrates, anticipating the moment  that we, His students,  discover something marvelous for ourselves! He doesn't just tell us answers, He leads us along a certain path to discover them for ourselves because, well, it's more of a sudden brilliancy of light for us that way. God has always touched my heart through my mind, because He knows me best, like He knows you best. So hang in there and stay in it with Him so He can help you discover whatever it is you're looking for at the moment.

So back to the original topic. We find ourselves at a junction when we are at odds with either ourselves, our lives, our spouse, or all three! Many layers can go into this disjointedness, from background to habits to selfishness. Most of it has never been brought to the light of acknowledgement and we carry on making assumptions and feeding the bitter storm inside until we can't even communicate effectively because what comes out are bullets meant to anihillate!

I think as women we have so many mixed messages of what we should be and it is mostly coming from a source that doesn't know who we are in the first place. Our gifts of understanding people, building relationships, and service doesn't equate with being walked on by husbands and children. Our strength and ability doesn't mean stomping on every man we see in our path and grinding them to dust.

I can't answer for anyone how to communicate effectively. I do know it involves mutual respect and openness to hear and be heard. It involves believing in yourself and your needs,wants, and dreams as well as listening to your spouse's and working together on making all of those realities, in time. It also involves patience and taking one day at a time, trusting that even when it seems like the sun just won't shine that it will and you will see something you hadn't seen before about life, yourself, your spouse and God Himself.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

what's holding you back?

Sometimes in life, we are in a holding pattern. We don't know what we want, we feel our limitations all too powerfully, and stay still. Sometimes our health forces us to stay still, quite literally. Sometimes things like finances and priorities take precedence and we need time to take care of these properly before we make a move. But make a move we must, because we can sense that there is just something else out there calling us.

Everything in our lives brings us to a certain place. Our experiences, talents, and even sufferings have a role in shaping who we become. Who says we stop learning when we finish school? Maybe then is when we are allowed the freedom to really learn who we are. We have the time and space to figure out and then Live our dreams! 

Life is mean to be lived. We are made for dreams. We are made for a beautiful life. And it is up to us to define for ourselves what that means and then live it. 

So wherever you find yourself on your journey today, whether you have a dream and are living it or are in a stage of vague hopes, know that you are worth all of God's love and he doesn't want anything to hold you back.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Flo Grown


Everyone likes to knock Florida. 😉I never saw myself living here, either! But my husbands career needed building and we followed the path, leading us here 6 years ago. My eyes have since been opened to the advantages of being "Flo grown."

My kids love nature. I think all kids do! But when we moved to Florida, I was constantly in awe because of the contrast to my own childhood environment. There is a thickness to the grass here, exotic colors to flowers and birds, and the toughest  plants you've ever seen. I never knew leaves could be so thick! Hundreds of birds I had only read about became a part of our daily environment. I have grown to love the intense heat offered by the sun that is so close you can feel his warmth seeping through your skin. He's like a friend. Now I, too, love nature.

I've seen one of my children tame an iguana for 5 minutes, another calm a wild bird flying around the house so as to catch him, pass him around, and let him go. The bird himself hesitated to leave. They've saved a wild baby rabbit and have grown up with the ocean and gulf as their backdrop. I can't wait until we can grow some fruit trees and let them literally pick the fruits of their own labor.

Our youngest 2 were born here, and prefer the outdoors to the in. If I could, I would be outside with them all day. It has been so beautiful to see them nurture and love their natural world in the way God must have intended.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Shout out!

Hi

I just want to thank you for stopping in and being on this journey with me. I hope in time you'll introduce yourself to me and the other readers, because we share a common interest in seeking meaning and purpose and understanding. I love to write to encourage others because we all need that. And your visits encourage me to continue doing what I love. So thanks and may your journey be blessed.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Success

Relating to a recent post, what is success to you? Is it something you can put in words, or is it a vague notion of professional accomplishments and material accumulation? That sounds shallow but this isn't a place for judgement, but honest exploration. Maybe it's your children holding good jobs and happy marriages? Maybe it's peace and harmony in the home?

 Maybe we'll take some of each? 😆

Our idea of success, Whether vague or clear, is often something given to us, not original to ourselves. That isn't always a bad thing. Let's  look at the origin of these notions.

Professional acumen can be the result of hard work, sound education, and good interpersonal skills. All good things.

The money that flows in from your career buys the things needed for both you and your family. Another good thing.

Peace and harmony in relationships means personal, tailored attention is given to each person we care to give it to. Hopefully those are the people we live with. A wonderful thing.

So, society's definition of success has good roots. The roots are in human virtue and self-giving. It all seems so clear and easy in writing! But life's not like that. There is so much we can't control, most of whom are people! And wrenches can be thrown in our best laid plans.

And maybe our plans start to control us. This is when we get caught at work until late in the evening, every evening, to get the money to buy more of what would be nice but we don't truly need. When the perfection of the house takes precedence over the people we've created it for, including ourselves. When we are so busy we forget to listen, share, and play. When we don't pray.

My friends, it's time to regroup and define success for ourselves. Because it just may be something that hasn't occurred to us yet.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Trust



We all know there is no relationship without trust. No marriage could begin or last without it. No friendship, either.

And yet, how much do we trust God?

I've heard it said that God trusts us with the children He gives us. He trusts us a lot! Or you could even say a child is a sign of His trust; that we can do it, that we will put our intelligence and will at the service of these little ones, helping them solve their problems and forming them well. It's a learning process, but He trusts us nonetheless.

My question today is how much do we trust God with our loved ones? Yes, we know we will do everything in our power to help one of our kids if they are going through a difficult time. We will support our spouse, parents, friends likewise. But what if it takes too long in our eyes? We don't see the needed internal or external change that would issue relief or happiness once again?

We need to not only trust God with our loved ones, we need to tell Him we do. There is a power in saying it, maybe because we really don't want to say it, because saying it means something. It means we can let go. Yes, we listen, we love, we do all we can. But God is ultimately in charge and allows them and us to go through things and it must be for something better.

When we trust Him, our relationship begins. Because we all know that without it, there is none. Truly trusting Him just might make all the difference in taking that next leap of Faith.